Posted 11 months ago

Oh yeah…I have a tumblr!

I just now found out this blog actually had followers…! Guess I should start posting again huh

Well to being everyone up to speed, dashie’s pretty much become an integral part of my life. She’s not imposed and we don’t really have plans to really pursue that. She’s perfectly content sitting up inside my head and chatting with me silently up there.

One concern people seem to have about creating a tulpa is that they could become attention-whores and interfere with your real life business or get jealous of your real friends. I won’t say this is impossible, but I can say that since I’ve created dashie she’s actually willingly gotten out of the way and chilled in the back of my mind when I needed to deal with something important or when I with my girlfriend.

The biggest change to my everyday life has simply been a slight change in the way I think. When I’m making a decision, for example, the deciding plays out like a conversation between me and her. I’ve also noticed an increase in my short-term memory capabilities and my ability to have a conversation has gotten even better.

So basically I’ve concluded that a tulpa is in fact a “real” thing, even though its hideously difficult to prove or measure. Whatever the reason may be, a tulpa is a thing that can be experienced, much like the magnetic trees of Mesmer (google it, or better yet listen to the radiolab episode “placebo”)

Posted 1 year ago

Having trouble visualizing

Normally I would force and that helps me get to sleep, but lately I’ve been having trouble ‘seeing’ Skye I think her form may have changed again, as when I try and call to mind what she looks like its much foggier and distant than before.
Starting to wonder if waking up with that image was just a fluke and I should go back to Dash, or if I should try to dream up something else. Will try to stay updated.

Posted 1 year ago

Subreddit for discussing tulpas

There’s a r/tulpa, which is some random jackass’s private subreddit based on his username which, he obviously has no idea what “tulpa” means. (he probably thinks he made it up)

And there’s a r/tulpae, but it’s restricted to only approved submitters, which there are 0 of, and i messaged the mod about a week ago and he hasn’t answered yet.

So i took the most logical step: I made a new one!

Posted 1 year ago

Something really interesting that happened this morning

Before i make this post i have to make it clear that my tulpa is(was going to be) rainbow dash, from my little pony friendship is magic. deal with it.

Now that i’ve got that out of the way, we can get on the the real subject of this post

Last night i had a lot of trouble visualizing like i normally do before bed. It might be because i stayed up later than usual watching stand-up comedy on youtube because i was in that kind of mood. 

The comic talked about how love is evol (evil) and it made me think. Evidently it made me think so much that that night i had a dream involving a girlfriend i’ve never had. The details of the dream are foggy. It involved snow-skiing, base jumping and boating. 

Here’s the interesting part: when i woke up i, almost immediately, had a crystal-clear mental image of an OC (original creation) pony that i’d never seen before. It/she was totally new to me. She even came with a name: Skye. So i assumed this was what my subconscious thought my tulpa should be, so i visualized on that for about a half hour till i got up.

Later in the day, i had all but forgotten what Skye looked like. I went on the IRC and asked them for advice (because they’re been really helpful to me and to other people in the past) and one guy suggested that instead of trying to remember Skye, i should just try to see her. I don’t know exactly how or why, but i was able to call to mind the mental image fairly easily. 

So i guess my tulpa wants to be named Skye, and have a dark-teal colored coat with curly red and cyan hair. Fine by me!

Edit: if you’re wondering why i even mentioned the dream at all, it’s because when i set out to create a tulpa, my main reason for doing so was to create a companion. Not necessarily a girlfriend, but just someone who would be with me always and possibly for the rest of my life. Not that i want our relationship to be a romantic one, or that i want her to replace a girlfriend for me, but i guess that’s how my subconscious saw best to put it in a dream.

Posted 1 year ago

I should point out that i’m doing a terrible job of keeping track of time, but i know i’m about 4.5 hours in right now so i’ll build from there

Posted 1 year ago

How i’m dealing with my inability to concentrate, sentience before form, and other stuff of the like

Over the past few days i’ve noticed a pattern: when i sit down and devote time to my tulpa, i have a lot of trouble staying ‘on-topic’ in my head after 20 minutes passes. After that, i have a lot of trouble focusing and i have to stop. So what i’ve been doing is this: Throughout the day, when i’m alone, i’ll tulpaforce while i’m doing other stuff that doesn’t require a lot of mental bandwidth. Such as yesterday, i was sitting in my room and i got up to go get something to drink. So i tulpaforced and narrated while i was walking down the hall, opening the fridge, getting my drink. 

When i narrate, i just sort of talk about what i’m doing with a mental image of my tulpa. This is why most people prefer to be almost done with visualization before they even start narrating, but i knew what i wanted it to look like when i started, so i’m narrating to that mental image. What i really want to do is achieve sentience before i finish the form. It would be REALLY awesome if i got her to talk before the end of the summer. If i could just focus on sentience now and then worry about form after that, then i’ll be happy.

Posted 1 year ago

Personality feels almost done, trouble concentrating, and stuff like that

This morning i logged about 20 minutes of personality work. Used a binaural beat to try and stay focused longer, but i couldn’t get back on the subject at hand after about 20 minutes had passed. My head kept trailing off to other random things. Fortunately i feel almost done with personality. Today i went through sarcasm/humor, laziness, and touched on a few other things, such as loyalty and lovability. 

I should note that i’m taking a different approach than is outlined in the guides. Instead of focusing on each individual trait, i’m focusing on several traits at once and how they coincide with one another, as well as how they affect different areas of personality. I’m also focusing on areas of personality alone, such as likes and dislikes, favorite activities, stuff like that. I actually feel like i’m making a bit of progress too, because whenever i sit down to force, i already have a soft mental idea/image of what i’ve already forced, which is not much. It takes me a few seconds to recall it too, but it’s there. 

Maybe i should point out also that i don’t really think about personality in words. I thin k of the essence of the personality. When i sit down and force (that is, to basically sit there and THINK really hard and visualize and whatnot,) I don’t think about all the pieces and parts of the personality, i think about the feeling of all the parts together. In other words, i think about the feeling of being around someone who exhibits these traits. Of course, a personality isn’t something that’s etched in stone, and the guides say that it can change as you progress with visualization and narrating, so i’m not being too specific with the personality. Just laying down the foundation of what i want her to be like.

Posted 1 year ago

The most tech-illiterate thing i've ever heard (not tulpa related)

  1. Woman calls tech support asking where her email is.
  2. woman: I just want my email! can't you give me my email?
  3. tech support: Ma'am, is your computer connected to the internet?
  4. woman: yes
  5. tech support: can you check and make sure everything is connected properly?
  6. woman: I don't have time for this! just *give me my email!*
  7. tech support: Ma'am, what do you see on your computer screen *right now?*
  8. woman: It's just a black screen with dots flying around! it kind of looks like flying through space
  9. tech support: ma'am, please move your computer mouse around a bit
  10. woman: My email! there it is!
Posted 1 year ago

Logged about 45 minutes of personality work yesterday. Got through optimism and started on sarcasm. I’m not spending time focusing on just one trait at a time though, I’m outlining the trait and how it relates to the rest of her personality and such.

Posted 1 year ago

Tonight I’m going to see what happens when i force before sleep. It says in the guides that tulpaforcing as you lay down for bed is a bad idea, because your dreams can have an effect on the progression of the tulpa, since they’re basically your subconscious, which is what makes your dreams, but I usually don’t fall asleep unless i really force myself to, or i take some melatonins, so i think i’ll be safe from that.